Antonio Sabàto, Jr.

Traci Lords

Matt Lasky

Chacko Vadaketh

Mitchell Gordon

Noelle Perris

Matt Lagan

Kimberly Ables Jindra

Tomas Boykin

Rob Ullett

Dean Kreyling

Mohammad Kavianpour

Jay Beyers

Ali Tagi Alexander

Jonathan Footman

Jordan Steele

Rochelle Rudolph

Sara Catrucco

Melanie Rogina

Mandy Jackson

Jasna Novosel

Karisa Kleven

Shahrooz Bigonah

Andrew H. Barrett

Tom Anderson

Kelle A. Kennedy

Tiffany Borland

Nathan Lee Brynner

Jerry Earr

Chris Ridenhour

Mark Atkins

David Rimawi

Edgar Rice Burroughs

David Michael Latt

Gregory Paul Smith

Jude Tucker

Alyssa Chamberlin

Patrick Levno

Mike Deas

Adam Kolkman

Garrett Stiger

Jaymie Valentine

Michelle Aragon

Valerie K. Garcia

Mike Parisi

Gina A. Dumania

Erick Vizcaino

Andre Herrera

Jorge Kunze

Mighty Chuchaisri

Scott Johnson

Jess Haas

Joseph Segura

Giap Vu

Orlando Ordonez

John Ruiz

Laura Rae

Frank Anthony Garbutt

Sarah Galley

Matt Hoefler

Bianca Bahena

Jihane Mrad Balaa

J.J. Kim

Lisa Ries

Michelle Calloway

Jason Shulman

Erica Steele

Rachel Lee Goldenberg

Beth Powder

Andrea Wiersma

Paul Bales

Jay Cynik

Megan Nicoll

Lola Wallace

Glenn Miller

Martine Keston

Dwayne Burgess

Mark Quod

Anthony Fankhauser

Alexander X. Hutchinson

David Jones

Tom Devlin

Christopher Ray

Fantasy

Science Fiction

Action

Princess of Mars

The Asylum

United States of America

English

princess

planet mars

space battle

swordswoman

outer space

CinemaSerf

Now I did quite enjoy "John Carter" with Taylor Kitsch from 2012 but yikes what have they done to the story here? Antonio Sabato Jr in the "Carter" role makes Kitsch look like Marlon Brando. He's just dreadful. To be fair, the third-rate CGI doesn't help, nor does the pretty awful script or the fact that he is clearly there (shirt off) to complement the even less glorious talents of the eponymous character (Dejah Thoris) who seems to have based her characterisation on an over-exposed, sepia-tinted, version of "Wonder Woman". Somebody decided that the US operations in the Middle East was a better starting point and it all goes downhill quite continuously from there. I did quite like the worm thing that spurted out the nutritious milk as our character finds himself transported from Earth to the deserts of Mars where he soon becomes embroiled in a war for the survival of his warlike and horned captors. Luckily he can jump. Boy, can he jump - just not far enough to escape the ensuing nonsense that is reminiscent of Glen A. Larson's "Buck Rogers in the ...". Did "Jabba the Hut" lend out his sailing barge too? It's not the end of the world - though you can see that from here, it's just derivative and trashy.

**_The ‘B’ version of “John Carter”_**

When a “jarhead” is injured in Afghanistan (Antonio Sabato Jr), he is used in a teleportation experiment and transferred to a planet in the Alpha Centauri stellar system. Due to the lower gravity, he has the ability to leap great distances and earns the respect of his captors, the Tharks. After meeting a human-like princess (Traci Lords), she leads them to an air-purifying station that keeps the planet hospitable. 

"Princess of Mars" (2009) is based on Edgar Rice Burroughs’ pulp work from 1912 and follows the book pretty well, just updating the opening and cutting out the fat; not to mention adding the (unnecessary) character of Sarka, along with alterations to the various creatures and the addition of some well-done droll humor. Burrough’s Barsoom series (and his books in general) were the comic books of that day and so this flick is very comic booky and can be enjoyed on that level.

Costing a fraction of the forthcoming “John Carter,” you can’t really compare the two. It omits any reference to the mysterious and fascinating Therns, who didn’t debut until Burroughs’ second book, “The Gods of Mars” from 1913, which the Disney blockbuster morphed from indigenous Barsoomians to a race of technologically advanced aliens of unknown origin.

Nevertheless, there’s still some meat on the bones with the interesting atmosphere-cleaning plant, as well as the understandable contention between the Tharks and their human-like rivals on Barsoom, the latter of which maintain the station. 

Traci Lords was 41 during shooting, but in perfect physical shape, so I found her acceptable as Dejah Thoris, despite her age, blonde hair and lack of reddish skin tone. Keep in mind that while the Brothers Grimm described Snow White as having hair as black as ebony, there have been renditions of the story where she has “golden” hair, including at least two films, one of them being The Asylum’s own “Grimm’s Snow White.”

It runs 1 hour, 33 minutes, and was shot in the Greater Los Angeles area at Vasquez Rocks, Bronson Caves, Long Beach, Santa Clarita, Shea's Castle and nearby Castle Ranch in Lancaster.

GRADE: B-

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Princess of Mars( 2009)

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A review by CinemaSerf

Written by CinemaSerf on Mon Apr 22 2024

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