Ape vs. Monster is not set in a alternate timeline; it’s in total denial. Somehow, George W. Bush and Vladimir Putin team up to launch a "deep space probe" manned (monkeyed?) by Abraham the Chimpanzee. In 1985. Ten years before W. was even governor of Texas, while Putin was a mid-level KGB agent stationed in Dresden. Chimpanzees have a relatively long lifespan, but like any other animal, they need food to survive — not a lot of bananas in outer space. Thus, Abe was presumably dead of either old age or more likely starvation even by the time they "lost contact" with the probe on "August 12th,...